Earth Villains of the Zodiac – Capricorn (22.12 to 20.01) – Comical Horoscope

Whatever may be said, Capricorn perceives seriously relationship with a woman. Having a heart of moneylender, humor of coffin maker and sensitivity of tax inspector, Capricorn takes everything very seriously, without exception.

His intentions regarding you have purely noble character. He is hardworking and ambitious. He wants to get married and support a family. In his case, there is no problem with his understanding or his devotion. He will be faithful to you – there could be nuances, because he’s a man.

Getting to know him, you discover that he has the charm and good manners. However, before jumping with delight with hope that you could spend time with him, you should know one obstacle. Before He will take you into sunset and compile joint financial statements, — first, he needs to check your credit score. No, there is no place for jokes. He never jokes when it comes to money. He never jokes about anything, so go and think.

If you were born with a silver spoon in a mouth (or even one) and you have obscenely a great fortune, you will be pleased (and he will smile too) all the way to a bank for opening a joint savings account. Do not think that Capricorn is interested in you because of your inheritance. This idea of his nature is quite wrong. If you won money in a lottery, or working hard, you’ll still enjoy his attention.

It is unfair to say that Capricorn values only money. He is deprived of human qualities and understands that your money alone will not ensure his happiness. Therefore, equally Capricorn appreciates your social status, whom you are working with, who you know, who your parents are, what their condition, what friends they have, — everything that you can put together, can do for him. So he needs a complete package of everything. He also needs you to be the best cook ever, so he can enjoy food and he can bring and impress his friends and colleagues.

Then you will learn how to cultivate love for arts, ability to understand politics and international relations, in order to maintain intellectual conversation on every topic he, or his friends may talk to you, simultaneously preparing and serving guests.

You need to know at least one of the five major European languages, you mastered in the classroom, so you will be able to translate his business dealings or lectures to his audience. As far as etiquette … When you invite a family of the president to your house, you have to solve the problem of how to properly sit at a table of a petroleum magnate and a movie star.

You need to learn how to lose in tennis to a man without giving him a reason that you intentionally lose in order not infringe upon his self-esteem. You need to learn “The Art of table setting I”I (Advanced Course). You need to learn how to gracefully tolerate lenient attitude to yourself “as well as myriads of other essential items. You will be taught how move and walk correctly, how you should talk and dress. You will need to learn arts and crafts – with an emphasis in embroidery. You should never doubt your master asking why you need to have all the above mentioned skills.

Most importantly, all these proper skills will enable you to get acquainted with obscenely rich pedigrees, and become their friends forever. You do not need necessarily like them – just enough to kiss an air next to their cheeks rest of your life and smile.

Pedigreed girls, just like you, one and all, will marry Villains Capricorns, with whom you have got acquainted your villain Capricorn, then all villains, Capricorns form a club where they can compare their incomes, car and happy lives (calling it “exchange of experience” ). You will not go there because you are not a man. You may approach him only at the end of a fiscal year – when year is very successful. You even maybe invited to his boys club.

You have graduated from a school of life coaching (and now you know that you can not be too slim, too rich, too blond or too tanned), and now it is a time to play a vital role of a maid corresponding to every whims of Capricorn Villain.

You have become an ideal wife: Your skills are absolutely not in demand, so you only can help  to create a career for your husband. In other words, you life a perfect life, in a perfect house with your perfect husband and perfect kids – though he is never interested in having kids unless your family will set a fund to raise them. He will be continuously telling you that somebody shall pay for it, if you did not agree on a budget for you kids before the marriage.

Deep down in Capricorn Villain lies a romantic soul of a poet. He will create a perfect dates for you with the perfect music and he has an ideal talent to calm you down and focus your mind on happy tone. He may tell you once you deserve, this may be even more romantic because he will take you to see Ethel tower and Disney Land. He will make you laugh and be very sweet giving you night time bed stories about your being precious and charming treasure. – So you can think of new ways to make money in the evening. Another very positive outcome, the more you try, the more he likes you. He likes seeing people productive. — Be careful, if your girlfriends are lonely and see him as a big treasure, they will stuck him and try to change his mind that they can be a better maid then you. And soon enough, he will be telling you why would you appreciate their efforts, – the poor maid is asking for so little, – she just wants to fuck him and underestimate your talents, – but she will cook and clean and you can also leave in the house giving her directions. – You feel  that you are lost what role to play – a role of victim is not convenient because you lose, a role of a winner is not convenient because you need adjust yourself to the rules of harem which you are not allowed to write. So all you can do is to leave and wait years until the other woman dies from torment of her ruthless conscience or cancer.

The good thing is better to pretend you do not see anything. The dumber you play, the worst will be for a maid whom nobody takes serious. In a little while, you learn to give her orders and let her do everything badly in the house,smiling and saying exact same words your husband says to you agreeing to everything. Nobody can survive your line of behavior, even your Villain Capricorn be very impressed with you ruling his harem.

Good thing about Capricorn Villain – he won’t leave you easily. He would consider a waste of time seeking a new pedigree just like you and teaching you all considered things. You definitely don’t die from a broken heart.

A First Date

Capricorn uses a first date to check your suitability, evaluate whether to invest money in you, as well as to test your abilities whether you distinguish a fish fork from a dessert fork. To tell the truth, the first date will remind you of a job interview.

Advice: You should look for at least like a million dollar bill.

When do that

Take a look at his electronic diary. This date should be marked. Or, better yet, ask his personal assistant, on which day he planned to seal the deal – she surely knows when he has time. Important note: Capricorn villain is quite good in regards to sex.

When start talking about marriage

When you become an owner of 51 percent shares of his corporation. He cannot deny to his chief shareholder. And even if he does, you will get a casting vote – and in your power to revoke his decision.

If he leaves you

This is a good sign. So he starts taking you seriously. Capricorn Villain would start to negotiate terms of separation. Come back with a counter offer, and confirm that your daddy ready to reconsider an issue of dowry.

If you left him

He has quite strong financial position to live  it threw. All written in prenuptial agreement, in an event of divorce, a dowry is not refundable. As for the rest of the inheritance, he’ll just have to marry another heiress, and retire.







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