Fire villains – Sagittarius (23.11 to 21.12) – Comical Horoscope

Sagittarius does the opposite. He speaks before thinking, leaps before looking, and falls in love with you only after you leave him. That’s why people are absolutely right, considering Sagittarius a lucky villain. Only a miracle can explain the fact that he is still alive. Astrologers manage to speak kindly of Sagittarius.

In ancient times philosophers were comforted saying: “I think, therefore I am not Sagittarius.” Partly due to the time and human rights movement of those born under a sign of Pisces, who do not tolerate any harassment, this phrase  lost its original meaning, and now Sagittarius even has no idea what it stood for. Undoubtedly, wise men meant only that villain Sagittarius rushes headlong into a monstrously absurd situations and does not bother to think about it one more time, because thinking in general is quite difficult for him.

Thus, wise man and ladies most likely meant that brains of Sagittarius do not keep up with his actions, but when they do manage to get into a rhythm, Sagittarius immediately makes everything topsy-turvy.

Sagittarius all starts with a scene when he rushes to your feet and begs you to make him your slave. And you hardly have a look at him, and he is gone already. This happens not because you are not a love of his life, – do not think of it incorrectly. Just now it started to bother him, that he just realized that a problem connected with the fact that you, a feminist with radical views, engaged in mountaineering, and he, has moderate views and afraid of big heights. And off he comes back, recklessly accusing you in everything, saying, if you fooled his head: that you did not tell him earlier. And how, he might suspect that you were a feminist? After all, once you have prepared him lunch.

All mentioned above, easily enables Sagittarius commit adultery, without feeling a slightest sense of guilt.

Sagittarius is a honest villain. If he slept with somebody, make no mistake: he will tell all about it  … with excruciating details. When you gently tell him that you do not want to know who, what and where, he will continue on with even more details … (You can reasonably hit him in the face, knocking out all his teeth.) He will be happy anyway.

Having got acquainted with relatives of Sagittarius, you’ll notice that they are terribly shy about his indiscretions and levity. Very soon, you’ll understand why at an early age he was kicked out of the house and allowed only on occasions of vital importance: like funeral. However, even during hours of grief, he shows a rare lack of tact.

He may ask  his sister where is her husband (namely her husband lies in a coffin), Sagittarius makes one of the least serious mistakes. Hurrying to atone a mistake, he tells his sister that was merely a joke. When his sister bursts into tears, Sagittarius Villain is trying to comfort her, saying that he always thought that her husband was not a suitable candidate for her.

If his lapses still did not scare you, then his irrepressible chatter will certainly make you wish that earth opened up and swallowed him. Sagittarius thinks of him as a man of a great intelligence. Therefore, from early morning, he will charm you  you and his family with the stories, totally unaware that most of his audience begins to fall asleep. He will talk about everything: ancient technique of embalming, Celtic burial rites, Hollywood and so on – Sagittarius will talk nonstop.

If you try to question reliability of his source of information, and he’ll tell you that he read it in books. You can say that “Playboy” shall not be taken into account: because somehow you know that Sagittarius does not read and does not write. All school writing assignments you always did for him. If you hear wise words slip occasionally form his lips, know that he heard them from someone more intelligent. For example, you.

And here we come to the next point. If you’re are so clever, what the hell are you dating with Sagittarius? Do not tell that he is very generous. — Yes, Sagittarius as lavishly spends money, as well as his seed.

First, Sagittarius spends all of his own money, then money of his relatives, then yours. When there is nothing left of your capital, Sagittarius will spend money of other girlfriends.

Again, Sagittarius will not feel guilty that eventually he needs to file bankruptcy. He will blame you that you did not explain to him that all these columns of figures were notices of non-payment of debts.

He also will be asking you why you are still hanging around? He left you, did  not he? He knows that you are still with him because he’s a hell of a lucky villain. Sagittarius knows it. Who he is, do you know: a genius or an idiot?

How you can attract attention of Sagittarius

Act wisely.

A first date

Hoping to drag you into a bed, he will be very generous.

When start talking about marriage

Remember that after you marry him, thoughts about divorce will come in a very near future.

If he leaves you

Consider yourself lucky, but show emotional distress. Make sure he returns money, he owes you.

If you leave him

It takes time for him to hear your words. So, on a first day, start with the word “you”; a second date say “free”, and on a third day nail him with a phrase “dumb-ass”.

 

 

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