You meet a charming person who becomes your freind. Every day he decorates your life and things are wonderful.

Suddenly, little by little, he starts to feed you with tales of a vile ex-husband or wife, who is madly jealous of you and your friendship.

Later on, you may realize or find out that all these stories are a complete invention, they can (and certainly will) change at the whim of the narrator. For example, today, the ex- has a manic-depressive disorder. The next day the psychopath and his ex-are best friends. The day after tomorrow, the ex will become crazy and hysterical. And eventually, and you might find out that he was telling people lies about you and the nature of the relations.

Why these stories are told?

“My ex has a manic-depressive disorder”

Calling a person, saying that he has a manic-depressive disorder, is like calling him a diabetic. Manic-depressive disorder, also called bipolar disorder, is a serious illness with a certain set of symptoms, and it is not the same as “mood swings’’.

Rather, it’s just an insulting label that your partner throws to make you pity. Therefore, you should not be surprised that he will say the same about you.

The label of “bipolar disorder” actually sits perfectly on anybody. If you are naturally happy and prone to optimism, the time when these features manifest makes your “manic period”.

And your reaction to a partner’s bad treatment makes you angry this is a “depressive period”.

In the phase of idealization, when the psychopath was charming and mirrored your entire personality, you were fluttering in the sky. Life was beautiful. But when the psychopath began to manipulate you and change you, and you began to lose heart and get angry. And of course, while complaining, he actually did not talk to you.

“My ex was a crazy hysterical woman”

So did she become one crazy or there were some internal circumstances that made her overreact. One day, without any apparent reason, she flew off the reels ? Or maybe it was because someone constantly built triangles, lied, manipulated and criticized her? If a person describes to you how terrible his “crazy ex” was, take a pause and think carefully.

“Crazy”, “hysterical” – these are words devalue a person, just because person’s reactions were inadequate?

“My former partner has anger management issues”

Again, the purpose of this label is to devalue a person and to dump him.

Any manifestations of anger or mistrust will be declared “anger”. The psychopath will complain to the new partner that the former partner behaves like a child with unreasonable and harbored anger. In this case, the psychopath somehow forgets to mention why, in fact, the former partner was angry.

“My ex is still in love with me and jealous”

First of all ask yourself the question: what kind of person will boast like that? It’s disgusting. Even if this is true, relations with such narcissistic people should be avoided.

Let’s go further and think about why the former partner is jealous and still in love with a psychopath. Typically, psychopaths begin to boast of their new relations and demonstrate it to the whole world a few days after the previous relationship ended or not even ended. Do you know what for? Never believe – in order to cause jealousy, confusion and anger.

Psychopaths cultivate in his victims of toxic, desperate love.

You could send text messages when the sociopath is in a process of selecting his new victim, in response to his “needs” for compassion, and the psychopath uses your text messages as material evidence of your love or insanity in order to provoke sympathy for his next victim. Claims about the jealousy of the former victims are needed for the new victim to believe and feel special – after all, from the crowd of his fans, she is the best and only one.

The psychopath willingly surrounds himself with former passions to create the impression that he enjoys immense popularity.

“But my former really terrible person!”

Anyone can reveal horror stories about former relations, but we keep them to ourselves or mention in the conversation a few times when asked.

What is not normal is when stories are mentioned in conversations, but sociopath will tell those stories as often as if he is in a relationship with you. It is not normal to talk nastiness about the former relations and continue to talk and spend time with them. Trust your intuition and remember: psychopaths always use their ex for manipulation to create the right impression for you.

Let’s sum up: if a person often and in a negative way mentions his former partners, he is at best not ready for a new relationship. But in the worst case, this person manipulates your thoughts, setting you up against people you do not even know. And you can rest assured that soon he will talk about you in the same spirit – the “next queen” in his endless chess game that he loses.

While you apply compassion, the psychopath begins to experiment with you like a new toy. He knows from experience that if he plays a love card correctly, people often are more interested in preserving the relationship than in protecting one’s own dignity.

A psychopath steals from you human dignity, taking away everything he made you believe in the period of idealization. He mocks your dreams, subtly hinting that, perhaps, you are not “his half” – but, despite this, he makes you dance to your tune because he needs attention. So he trains his victims to become dependent and obedient and uses his power to awaken the victim’s desperation and desire to stay together at all costs. A vortex of feelings surrounds you, and you gradually slip into the abyss of an unimaginable nightmare.