Once a liar, always a liar…

Lies of our closest people sometimes go to extremes, destroying careers and relationships in the process.

Compulsive liars tell the stories they think want to be heard, while pathological liars continue to lie when they know you know they’re lying.

Many liars believe that lies are the lubricants that move social interaction forward.

I know the old lady who is a gambler and she is 92 years old. She wanted to go to Vegas, and did not want her kids now. she created a lie that her back hurts and she goes to stay overnight in my place after having massage. She ended up in a hospital with her extended family who cares too much for her… and she told us she just lies even later it will be discovered just for the sake of telling lies. .

Compulsive liars have a need to embellish and exaggerate.

most liars don’t want to change

Can you tell on first meeting that someone is a liar?

Spotting, Living With, or Working for a Liar is a challenge.

What people value is truthfulness.

If you find out that a new friend or acquaintance is a liar, just walk away.

Don’t expect remorse from people’s lies. Pathological liars will look at a situation entirely from their own perspective. They have no regard for another’s feelings about what might happen as a result of their lies.

Usually issues affecting the central nervous system may predispose someone to pathological lying. It often relates to childhood hardships (money hardship, addictive parents, sexual harassment, – pretty much any events where they feel ashamed of the truth and they have no willpower to overcome it. and it concerns more of young males.)

An antisocial personality disorder also can lead to lying. Trauma may also play a role in pathological lying, along with an abnormality in hormone-cortisol ratio…

Here what happens in the brain when a person tells a lie: the more untruths a person tells, the easier and more frequent lying becomes. Self-interest seems to fuel dishonesty, even if lies seem to have no clear benefit

Friends and family can find this especially frustrating because the person lying doesn’t stand to gain anything from their lies.

The stories liars tell are usually dramatic, complicated, detailed and colourful.

Liars are great storytellers and very convincing.

Liars usually portray themselves as the hero or victim

Along with being made the hero or victim in their stories, liars tend to tell lies to gain admiration, sympathy, and acceptance by others.

Liars sometimes believe in the lies they tell because in their imagination their stories fall between conscious and delusion. Seem like if they become autistic at this moment where they have hard time to separate their lies from what their imagination or dream tells… So it’s like they seem to close reality to themselves and see only things they want to see. Often liars do not know the difference between fact and fiction after some time.

Liars also are natural performers. They’re eloquent and know how to engage with others when speaking. They’re creative and original, and quick thinkers and they may never show common signs of lying, such as long pauses or avoidance of eye contact.

When asked questions, pathological liars may speak a lot without ever being specific or answering the question.

On the spot, they can create a false history, saying they’ve achieved or experienced something they haven’t.

They may lie they have a life-threatening illness that they don’t have. They tell lies to impress others, and may say that they’re related to a famous person…

How to cope with a pathological liar

Knowing a pathological liar can be deeply frustrating because the lying appears to be pointless. They even can lie they can be your friend and invite you somewhere, where they do not intent of coming.

It’s hard even to have a simple conversation with the liar.

You just need to be patient and do not lose your temper; do not to let your anger get away when confronting a pathological liar. Instead, be supportive and kind, but firm.

It’s hard not to take personally when you are being lied to, but pathological lying isn’t about you. The person may be driven by an underlying personality disorder, anxiety, depression or low self-esteem.

Be supportive is important.

When talking to the pathological or compulsive liars, tell a person that he or she does not need to impress you, say that you value this person for who he really is.

Don’t engage with a liar when you know that he is lying. Try to change the subject and try not to let them tell you lies.

Without judgment or shaming, liars need to consider professional help for their own well-being.

pathological liars fascinate people with their stories

A pathological liar is an excellent storyteller and performer. They know how to captivate their audience by telling elaborate and fantastic stories while being very animated.

Along with knowing how to weave and express a detailed story, people are also fascinated by what drives a person to lie.

It’s natural to want to know why they’re lying, especially when there doesn’t seem to be an apparent reason for their lies.

Takeaway

How to empathize and cope with a pathological liar comes down to an understanding of what may be causing this person to lie.

The lying is a symptom of another issue that can be healed.

Liars likely to have narcissistic personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety and depression altogether.

Pathological liars tell lies with much confidence. It’s like actors who are totally into their roles. The act of pathological lying might first start as a self-coping mechanism to deal with stress or adversity. For example, a student might fail in exams multiple times. Not wanting to deal with rejection or neglect by others due to his failure, the come up with a lie to explain away his failure.”

After he tells the same lie repeatedly, he starts to believe it himself, and genuinely begins thinking his failure has nothing to do with his ability. This coping mechanism may help him feel better, but gradually over time, the behaviour will develop into a pathological act. “We see more pathological liars now because the social media and internet age has made verification of facts a lot easier. Liars were not caught out in the past because their lies were not exposed.

Pathological lying can be treated through cognitive behavioural therapy, where a shrink or a life coach will first identify the reasons for the patients’ lying, then help liars cope with their problems and face reality.

“The prognosis for pathological liars is not good, as the patients usually won’t seek mental help themselves.

Trust and meditation can reduce impulse to lie, break the habit, deal with their self-esteem issues, help them learn to accept themselves for who they are, and make them aware that lying will only make things worse because it will bring more recrimination and punishment.