Water Villains of the zodiac – Scorpio – Comical Horoscope

Characterization of water signs is “deep, sensitive and sensual” we need to interpret as a “canning, paranoid and weird.”Villains, born under the signs of Water, are very deep, sensitive and sensual. Because they are so deep, they are looking inward, grasping how miserable they actually are. Very susceptible, they are one hundred percent sure that they are not loved and respected. And, they have no doubts that you, too, feel their suffering.

Scorpio (24.10 to 22.11)

Scorpios are gloomy, thoughtful, of few words men with piercing eyes, who inhabit the pages of many romance novels. You know the plot: a man meets a girl. A man tortures girl because of series of totally silly misunderstanding, and he somehow gets to enjoy it. The psyche of a girl can not withstand his admirations. He squeezes her in his arms and muttering something about love to the grave. He has to squeeze her in his arms, because the next moment a poor woman may collapse. And here a story ends. This is a very reasonable basis for a final. A publisher knows that following steps are going to be too awful, and let readers and viewers create a happy ending in their imagination.

The ideal love in paperback still owns the minds of majority of population. We can not resist the strong, silent and powerful man. Exquisitely sitting on the chests of the trousseau, with long, charmingly messy auburn hair, fluttering eyelashes and not breathing, we expect that Scorpio bursts in our lives.

Romantic heroes never walk – they always rush strongly and purposefully into our lives. This is why they are always deadly tired – and that’s why they’re so gloomy and grumpy.

And what happens with the appearance the Scorpio villain? To tell the truth, a beginning is not going to exquisite, or related to ripping your lovely old-fashioned dress. Gracefully faint in his arms, and let Scorpio continue to act at his own discretion. Then check your head carefully. When buying large appliances, you need strong and silent objects. Those characteristics you need when you buy a washing machine, but not a man. You hardly will be delighted by these qualities of Scorpio.

Yes, he’s strong; he is very strong. Much stronger than you. So, in a fight, you will lose him. Yes, he is silent. So dialogue in the course of your romance will be somewhat strange and one-sided. Concealment of information is one of his favorite activities, mainly because it upsets you.

And what did you expect? A gloomy and thoughtful person never becomes truly open, caring and attentive.

However, you’ll never guess what annoys Scorpio. For example, you harmless flirting with your colleague at a corporate gathering will make him jealous. And three years later, he will finally take revenge on you, sleeping with your girlfriend or your sister – just a few hours before your wedding. Scorpio will have to wait – for decades, if necessary for an opportunity to take revenge when you have nothing to suspect.

Finally, you start considering behavior of a Scorpio as normal. You experience pleasure of fear; or you experience permanent feeling that you are unhappy, this all means that you finally see a a true. All of it seems so romantic. You even  start to flatter his possessiveness (he did not let you go somewhere or meet with somebody), because it all implies that he can not exist without you.

Scorpio will manipulate you as long as you do not turn into what he needs. Then he will no longer respect you, because you can easily give in to his influence. Then he will be on a quest for other person, that he could change in his way. At this stage, you also should search for another man – a shrink with a good reputation. During your attempts, Scorpio suddenly becomes a model of warmth and attentiveness. He even will show kindness toward animals. This is a typical behavior of all romantic heroes. He wants to make you believe that he has a tender and sensitive soul. Do not be fooled. It’s just part of his foul play, allowing him to be amused by your sanity. He goal is to destroy.

He certainly will torment you. Scorpio is the best at this. Besides, he likes to spend leisure time in this way. When you turn into a pile of shards on a floor, Scorpio will gather them and stick together, – and then start all over again.

Scorpio is very serious about his leisure time; in fact it enables him for hours to have fun and apply his destructive powers. And you too can benefit from it. Thanks to life-long obsession of Scorpio, you will have your own hobby: the worse he would treat you, the more you are going to love him. Nobody knows why this all is happening.

If suddenly you realize that you grieve of his infidelity, you can enroll in a group therapy. In fact, soon you find that his infidelity is not your business. You are only a wife of Scorpio, a mother of his children. In any case, pretty soon you get acquainted with his latest passion – she will join your group, to discover he did the same to her as he did to you.

Another fun fact is, that Scorpio thinks about sex twice as more often as other men, that is; his mind fully occupied with these entertaining thoughts of sex. Women, for some unknown reason, find i amusing.

Warning: do not try to start a love affair for the sake  of taking revenge on your Scorpio villain. You are currently not in a right emotional state to be engulfed into his jealousy stream. He is very creative.

You are not going to win – never, ever. Scorpio will not allow this to happen. He also won’t let you leave him . Everything that is still in your power is to visit a therapist. Eventually, you become a crazy and dependent person, the perfect match for Scorpio villain.

How to attract attention of Scorpio
Radiate joy, happiness, enthusiasm and optimism. He won’t miss an opportunity to lure you into his hell. Once there, you need to try to be what he wants you to be. Attempts to show your character will only aggravate your pain.

A first date

Scorpio will charm you, tame you and subdue you. He absolutely quietly penetrates into your thoughts and feelings – like a cancer or other fatal illness. As early after a first date, he will know all what he needs to now about you, while you will be completely in the dark about his persona. This exactly sets a tone your relationship.

When do kiss and more

Since Scorpio has multitude secret plans, you are never going to choose a right time and a place. Therefore, take him to a bedroom whenever he wants – most likely once you two meet. Advice: during the process, try to behave like a porn star, but at the same time create an image that this happens to you the first time.


If he cast you

Your attempt to avenge only amuse Scorpio, as your actions will show you as a dilettante. In addition, he will be flattered that he still controls your thoughts and feelings. Do not waste you power.

If you left him

He’ll get over it. However, if Scorpio decides that you have neglected them, you should take extra precautions and be careful in the next ten or twenty years.



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